you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
