either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
