We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
