having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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