i can't believe i had my finger in that
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
