Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
