whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
