Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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