Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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