i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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