bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
