My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
