Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
