Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
