wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
