i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
