yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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