I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
