A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
