barbara walters just said penis...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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