The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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