Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
