its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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