I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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