oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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