My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
