my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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