u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just cut my nipple shaving
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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