Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
no you cant smoke seaweed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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