You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
