even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
