I heard we made out
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
