Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
