it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We have started to decorate penises.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
