I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
