I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
