You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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