think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
