I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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