He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
