Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
