just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
