Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
