was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
