I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
