I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
