guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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