and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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