Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
