Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
