i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
