Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
