I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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