she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
