benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I need a burrito and a hug.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
