I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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