part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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