I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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